I don’t want to travel the world

Leavenworth, Washington

I thought that I wanted to travel the world, but I don’t.

Let me explain. I love visiting places, but I always feel like my visit is superficial and not without good taste. I’m seeing the places that I visit from a tourist’s perspective. I’m seeing what someone deemed worth seeing in this foreign city, but it’s not the city. Every city has its own march, its own drum and its own secrets.

Visiting a city for a day is just one peel of the layer, with millions of layers underneath. It depresses me. It makes me crave my safe-haven in London. Why? Because I know the city. I have been able to feel the deep pulses in its veins. I am able to delve into the city and get to know it. But at the same time, I still have so much to learn.

So I’ve amended my “I want to travel the world” statement. I want to live in the world. I want to discover the world and feel the city from the true perspective of those who live there and not just on a superficial level. I want to live in London, and then I want to live in another city.

I have traveled outside of my safe-haven dungeon of a room in Shoreditch to see the most of London, but there is still so much to see in London and in the world.

I want to physically tear my heart into multiple pieces because I do not want to be stuck in Minnesota. I don’t want to regret not having not moved onto another place. I want to move to a new city and feel the pulse of the city, make new friends and create new memories.

I want to travel the world, but I don’t. I want to live in it. Live in different cities for months and figure out each city.

I visited Cardiff in Wales, and it was no London. I was bored, and I spent most of my time comparing the city to the city that I knew and loved. The city that was three hours away. Cardiff was easy to see and easy to know, but it was so much less than what I wanted it to be.

Then I visited Copenhagen. It is so pretty there, and the streets all flow together and create an interesting feel for the city. I could have spent more time in Copenhagen to venture out farther than just the city and been able to understand and explore the area. It was gorgeous, but I was bored with how I didn’t know what I was doing. Part of this could have been fueled because someone stole my credit card (RIP US Bank card), but also because of the language barrier.

I visited Dublin, and it is fantastic. It’s a piece of the puzzle, but it’s not quite for me. Dublin is dirty and smelly, but historical and fast-paced. It has its moments, but it has its downfalls too. When we left Dublin and visited Galway, I wished that I had more time in Galway because of its feeling. The city gave off a very happy and interesting vibe. I think it could take a lot of time to get to understand and feel the city.

My next trip will be somewhere else. I hope I find glimpses of the real city as I travel through it like a tourist. As I pass through the cities and the people and the places, I hope that I can find a place for my heart to break, so I’ll have to come back to it. I want to find pieces of me in cities that I haven’t been to and people that I haven’t met yet because that means that there are people out there like me, just looking for the next place to go.

I want to leave my heart in places, so I can rediscover it.

I don’t really want to travel the world. I want to live in it.

This post will also be featured in the spring issue of Souvenirs.

One Reply to “I don’t want to travel the world”

  1. Katey-
    Your words convey such great messages. I’m so taking responsibility for teaching you to write, but you have become oh so much more than I could even imagine.

    Love,
    Mom

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